Can Exercise Heal Emotional Pain? My Journey from Trauma to Stillness

elva wu
May 8
3 min read

Updated: 13 minutes ago

A Journey from Pain to Power, One Punch and One Breath at a Time

Hey Flyer,

Let me tell you something I wish someone had told me: movement can save your life.

Before I started my fitness journey, I had nowhere to put all the anger, frustration, and heartbreak I was carrying. After my cancer surgery, I lost my fertility; and with it, I felt like I lost my identity. I was furious. At life. At my body. At my family. At my finances. At myself. I didn’t know where to place that kind of rage, so I took it out on the bag.

Kickboxing became my outlet.

Every punch? A release.

Every kick? A piece of pain knocked loose.

Every sweaty round? A little more space between me and the weight I was carrying.

It didn’t happen overnight, but something shifted. Underneath the anger, I started to see myself again. I peeled away the layer of hate and shame I had wrapped around my body like armor.

And for the first time, I felt light.

The Fight That Grounded Me

Cancer made me feel like I had no control over my own body. So I trained like my life depended on it; because in a way, it did. I was in the gym 3–4 hours a day. People thought I had discipline. Nah. I had rage. I wanted to hurt as badly on the outside as I did inside. I was suicidal, but instead of destroying myself, I destroyed every bag in the gym.

But something changed one day in a sparring session.

Time slowed down.

Punches came from all directions, and my body moved with precision.But my mind? Completely still.

It was the first moment of true peace I had ever felt. My heart wasn't racing with anxiety. My spirit wasn’t weighed down with guilt. I was in flow, anchored by movement, not broken by it.

The Power of Mindful Movement

Eventually, overtraining caught up with me and I injured my shoulders. That’s when I met Pilates. And it met me right where I was.

I used to think I had to suffer to heal. But Pilates taught me that stillness is also strength.

It’s a different kind of intensity. The kind that requires you to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and feel every inch of your body.

Not to punish it. But to listen to it.

When I move with control, when I let my breath guide the motion, I enter a new layer of mindfulness. My body becomes a sensor—tuning into emotions I used to numb. In that quiet, I meet myself again. Not the angry, hurting version—the whole one.

Kilates: Where Fierce Meets Flow

That’s why I created Kilates—a high-energy blend of kickboxing and Pilates.

Because I needed both.

The fight and the flow.

The power and the pause.

The fire and the breath.

Kilates isn’t just a fitness class. It’s a healing practice.We punch with purpose.We breathe with intention.We move like our spirit depends on it—because it does.

In this space, we don’t shrink. We expand.We don’t numb out.

We wake up.To the strength we’ve had all along.